After dwelling in an atmosphere bustling with the post-lunch enthusiasm seen in Goa for the past one week, this Saturday morning, I was thinking about the really important things changing the future of my nation’s youth. Like the kolaveri which has gone viral or the slapfest on sugar daddy or the release of Breaking Dawn! Instead, I decided to give my valued attention to an even more pressing situation at hand. Blame it on the bruise caused to my brain after I heard the touching investment banker-to-escorts storyline of Desi Boyz, I was ruminating over the recent hullabaloo in my class caused by a friend adorably smitten by a certain doe-eyed err.. professor teaching us!
Teacher crushes are as common as Sachin getting out in 90s! Kindergarten boys know all about falling in love with their teachers. It’s funny how most young boys fall for matured women and then as grown-ups, they swoon for girls who can’t think to save their lives like Kristen Stewart in twilight! Luckily for me, I learnt early in life that the world is a tough place to live in since you can’t keep elephants as pets. Every girl has a phase in her school life when her entire group sincerely believes that guys are stupid and dating them is impossible while they all secretly swoon over the craziest bad boys in class. As teenagers, they have crushes on their young teachers who are fresh IIT graduates and teach them Physics in coaching classes. Okay, maybe not all of you. But I believe every girl has had a crush on her physics professor at some point in her life. (Quick tip from my side to all the boys trying to impress the fairer sex. Be excellent in Physics. You have no idea how many girls have a crush on Sheldon!)
So, he is fair and adequately tall with the proverbial chocolate face. He also seems very well rehearsed in the class. And he doesn’t teach physics. And there is my friend! Blushing, giggling and forever answering questions bounced at anyone but her in the class! You bet the scene is familiar! So here I am, searching the internet wisdom to solve one of the most profound questions faced by mankind. Why do you develop a crush on a teacher?
The urban dictionary defines crush as the burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive. I have always dreaded studying and the thought of spending an evening with a professor is as exciting as watching Ashmit Patel in the eleventh season of Big Boss. So despite browsing through communities with 500 plus members with stories about their “educational” crushes, the closest I got was an old axiom in pop psychology stating we don’t just get crushes on people whom we want, we get crushes on people whom we want to be like! I have had crushes in the past because the person wore a nice shirt and frankly, I haven’t figured out who I want to be like yet! But I guess this could explain some of the crushes out there. In any case, I thought I would present my very own theory on the subject at hand.
It’s called the attraction due to control! Most human beings are attracted to people who are in control of their surroundings. This obviously excludes people who want vampires to control them to an uncomfortable degree. While men hate to be with a girl who would boss them around, there is hardly a man who isn’t attracted to his smart female boss. She controls him as well, but so does she everyone around. As a student, seeing a teacher who is marginally better looking than the rest of your class control all of them with his words and teachings is what attracts towards a professor the most. You are free to disagree with my theory and trust me I care about it as much as a Hyderabadi cares about using the right gender while talking. That’s all for now, my folks. Will ramble more when I get free from helping the lizard leave my room. Seriously, it’s too old to move on its own!